Mr. Minister

(Who woke this fellow up!!!)
Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes,do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, and on the last eight passports I've ever had, and on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out, before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my Mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed, between now and when I drop dead!!!... SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my F@#&in' address !! What the hell is going on? Have You got a gang of mindless Neanderthal assholes workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard ! For god sakes. I just want to to go to New Zealand and see my new Grand Daughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl).
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another F@#%in' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $80! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the F@#%in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then have to find some high society asshole, to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture ! You know, the picture where we're not allowed to smile?! ( F@#%'in morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed - An irate F@#%ing Australian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me?
Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade !!)
I have served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years(I went to Vietnam in 1967), and have had security clearances up the ying-yang.
I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL, and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.
However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know, someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F@#%ing PAKISTAN!!!(You know, the country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government', I'm done with this, this country is easier to get into, than get out of! I'm staying home and hopefully my son and grand-daughter won't have as much trouble trying to get into here as I'm having trying to get out!